Mouse with no name,
sing it with me!

(To the tune of Horse with no Name.)

I’ve hacked through your network on a mouse with no name,
It felt good to deface your home page.
On your network, you can’t remember my name,
Because they’re aint no one for to give me no shame.

La, lal, la, la, la, la, la.
La, la, la, la, la.

On the first part of the rampage,
I was looking at all the life,
There were words and pics and graphs and things
There were friends and songs and links.
A hacktivist lives in the web underground,
And a perfect disguise onscreen.
Above the networks, live the corporations,
But the hackers will give no love.

La, lal, la, la, la, la, la.
La, la, la, la, la.

What difference does it make?

Sometimes, the best way to answer a question is by asking a question.

For example, last week, Secretary of State Clinton had to face difficult questions about the Benghazi attack in which 4 Americans were killed.

When asked about the tale that a mob incited by a bad movie was responsible, Clinton came up with the best answer ever for difficult questions. “What difference does it make?”

It’s a great line that has been useful to people of all ages throughout history and one that can still be useful to answer so many questions.

Lance Armstrong: Is it true that you were taking illegal performance enhancing drugs while riding your way to the top of the cycling world? “What difference does it make?”

Beyonce: Did you think you could fool people by lip-synching the National Anthem at the inauguration of President Obama? “What difference does it make?”

Subway: How many miles of sandwiches have your customers been cheated out of because you’ve been selling footlong subs that were only eleven inches long? “What difference does it make?”

Burger King: How many of your customers in Europe have eaten hamburgers that were supposed to be all beef and in fact contained horsemeat? “What difference does it make?”

Gatorade: Did you think people would be happy when they found out your drink contained brominated vegetable oil, a chemical that has been banned in 100 countries? “What difference does it make?”

Business Jokes of the Week

The bad news is Hostess has stopped making Twinkies. The good news is that other companies have made bids to begin producing Twinkies. All I can say is, “Sweet!” DM

The Baltimore Ravens will be facing the San Francisco 49ers in the Super Bowl. It’s an interesting matchup. A lot of people are learning that the Ravens got their name from Edgar Allen Poe, who spent a lot of time in Baltimore and who wrote a poem titled The Raven. When they hear that, they ask questions like, “Who is Edgar Allen Poe?” and “What’s a raven?” DM

The post office may sue Lance Armstrong for all of the money they spent sponsoring his team. Lance Armstrong could end up as broke as the post office. Jay Leno

The Pentagon has allowed women to serve in combat. The hope is that we can now finally defeat the Taliban by giving them the silent treatment. Conan

According to a new study out of the University of Wisconsin, 81 percent of people lie on online dating websites. To which Notre Dame’s Manti Te’o said, “Now you tell me!” Jay Leno

More than a million people gathered in our nation’s capital last week. Tens of millions more watched from home to celebrate the first lady’s new haircut. Jimmy Kimmel

Comentators made a big deal out of the fact that four years ago there were twice as many people at President Obama’s first inauguration than there was at this one. Four years ago, twice as many people could afford to stay in hotels. Jay Leno

At the inaugural ball, President Obama was caught doing some very stiff and awkward dance moves. In other words, Obama is already reaching out to Republicans. Conan

Quote of the Week

“Satanists are happy to show their support of (Florida Governor) Rick Scott who – particularly with SB 98 – has reaffirmed our American freedom to practice our faith openly, allowing our satanic children the freedom to pray in school,” the Satanic Temple announced in a press release last week. No anonymous jokes her folks. That actually happened.

Pope Jokes, Jokes for Lent, Prayer Wireless