Investigators have had lots of questions for Katherine Russell Tsarnaev, wife of Boston Marathon bomber Tamerlan Tsarnaev. She apparently didn’t have a clue about what all those cases of fireworks were for, or why they needed more than one pressure cooker, or what her husband was planning to build with all the nails, ball bearings, and such.
She probably has a few questions of her own that she would like to ask the authorities, perhaps like these:
Is this whole bombing thingy going to disqualify me for food stamps and other welfare?
Will I be eligible for survivor benefits?
Why don’t people like me?
Business Jokes of the Week
The New York Jets have cut Tim Tebow. The Jets found out he was dating a girl named Maria. DM
New Yorkers complained that Tim Tebow was no Joe Namath. Come to think of it, there’s only one Joe Namath. DM
President Obama went to Mexico to talk about the great economy in the U.S. He had to go South of the Border to find anyone who would believe that. DM
The State of California may allow noncitizens to serve on juries. Getting people to serve on jury duty has gotten so bad that now they have to use migrant jurors. DM
Former Pope Benedict has moved back into the Vatican. It’s as if he graduated from the College of Cardinals but couldn’t find a job. DM
Martha Stewart is now on Match.com. She’s 71 and is not looking to have kids. Who would have guessed? That no kids thing could be a deal breaker for lots of potential suitors. DM
She’s looking for someone who’s successful, athletic, and who knows how to get on with life after a scandal. Is Arnold Schwarzenegger on Match.com? DM
Willie Nelson recently turned 80. He doesn’t look a day over 100. DM
The Chicago Cubs may leave Wrigley Field if they don’t get a bigger scoreboard. They don’t need a bigger scoreboard. What they really need is a good score once in a while to put up on the scoreboard. DM
Researchers have discovered that young people have no sense of how previous generations lived. The study was reported in a newspaper, which is similar to a blog, but all the stories are a day or more old. DM
The first settlers in Jamestown Virginia may have been cannibals. Researchers came to that conclusion after finding a cookbook titled How to Prepare Dinner with Family and Friends. I’m so glad that U.S. Thanksgiving traditions came from Plymouth and not Jamestown. DM
Speaking of cannibalism, do you suppose any of Mike Tyson’s ancestors were in Jamestown. DM
Mike Tyson’s ex-girlfriend once cooked and ate his pet pigeon right in front of him. She offered Mike the little bird’s ears, but he said he wasn’t hungry. DM
President Obama said that the prison at Guantanamo Bay needs to be closed. After all, Osama Bin Laden is dead, Al Queda is gone, and terrorism is no longer a threat to Americans. DM